


Love Story

by QueenBookBuff



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Falling in love from the start, Fighting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Story, Slow Burn, Triggers, What they were thinking, canon but not, happy endings, not my finest editing, simple and sweet, they were always meant to be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBookBuff/pseuds/QueenBookBuff
Summary: Jackie and Hyde had similar reasons for the way they acted, and reacted to each other from the beginning. Follow their love story from the very start.A series of One Shots that Follow Jackie and Hyde through their friendship and Love Story.
Relationships: Eric Forman/Steven Hyde, Jackie Burkhart/Michael Kelso, Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde, Steven Hyde/Donna Pinciotti, Steven Hyde/Michael Kelso
Comments: 60
Kudos: 47





	1. Nothing in Common

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of interactions throughout Jackie and Hyde's Journey. It will have added moments, and will diverge some from Canon. Because I promise only happy endings. 
> 
> I know I am writing five different things right now, but when I have writer's block on a series I have to write the other things in my head. It help clears it out, so I can refocus on plot lines.
> 
> I am trying out Tumblr...... give me a follow. I also intend to post things that are original and plan to expand Scarlet and SJ Hyde quite a bit. 
> 
> https://queenbookbuff.tumblr.com/

Escaping thoroughly highly unrealistic and highly improbable scenarios is how Jackie dealt with her life. That, and a shield of perfection on the outside, weakness wasn’t an option for her. When you looked at Jackie you encountered a girl who had it together, money, secure in who she was, and beautiful. In reality, Jackie was terribly insecure, already knew money didn't buy happiness, and desperately alone. She was strong, and she knew to show her pressure points was to give ammunition to the world to take her down. She clung to her belief that one day she would have a happy ever after, and nothing could stop her from finding it. Nothing. Not a dad who loved money more than her. Not a mom who wanted booze more than a child. Not the cold, empty echo of her cavernous home…. Nothing. She was Jackie Burkhart, and if she had to will a happy ending through her own belief…. Than nothing would ever stop her.

Life had fucked Steven Hyde from the start, and due to that…. His response to the universe was Fuck You. It didn’t take him long to realize life was going to be hellish, and his home life wasn’t the same as his friends. His defense against the brutal bleak abuse at the hands of his mother was to not give her the satisfaction of a reaction. Hyde locked down every tear, cry of why, and tremble of fear. Instead, he found disdain, a smirk of smugness, and a cool exterior of I don’t give a damn. Sometimes it was too much to pretend like his life wasn’t shit, and that was what drove him to pot, and isolation. He craved peace. He craved a place where no one yelled, and ripped you apart for merely being born. Hyde was the first to climb the water tower, for no other reason than escape. For no other reason to lay his head back privately, and let out how he felt without fear.

* * *

_ Hyde _

Hyde was annoyed by her instantly. She was younger, perkier, louder, and altogether pinker. For the love of God, she had pigtails with ribbons in her hair. She had been in the basement for 5 damn minutes and already her voice made him want to rip his ears off.  _ Jesus he brooded….where did Kelso find this girl?  _

“Do you talk or do you stare rudely at people? I know I'm beautiful, but even poor people are supposed to know it’s rude.”

This tiny tornado's audacity nearly floored Hyde. His embarrassment at being caught staring drove him to be ruder than normal, and he snarled out.

“Please Princess, I don’t find babies beautiful.”

Kelso in typical fashion yelled “Burn”

He watched his insult roll over her, and he could see it hit. A second before she shot back at him, he glimpsed hurt. It made him feel bad, well shortly, because then she opened that trap of hers.

“Oh, please like I care what a scruffy burnout thinks. Poor People don’t have good taste.” She slapped Michael on the arm and yelled.

“Let’s go Michael.”

Hyde watched his friend stand up at her damn command, and lead her out. Hyde had to have the parting shot.

“See ya Princess…. We little people hope to never see you again.”

Her eyes flared, and he spotted something. Something he was very familiar with, but he pushed it away. That perky nightmare and him had nothing in common. He hoped to God this girl was short lived or he was going to have kill Kelso.

* * *

_ Jackie _

Jackie was still fuming about the stupid guy in the chair. She knew it was ridiculous, but did he really think she wasn’t beautiful? Her beauty was something she wore like a shield. Damn it! She was pretty! She was! It didn’t matter what one random guy, in her stupid boyfriend’s friend’s basement said. She didn’t even know his poor person name. It must have shown on her face, because Kelso interrupted her private tempertatrum. 

“Don’t let Hyde get to you. He’s like that with everyone.You will get use to him.”

Jackie didn’t want Kelso to know she was bothered by it, and she didn’t want this guy Hyde to know, because she knew Kelso would blab. She had already figured out he wasn’t the smartest bulb in the bunch. She made sure to use her haughtiest voice,

“Please Michael. Like I  _ care _ what someone so dirty thinks. I know I’m beautiful.”

His faced smiled at her, whatever worry he had gone. Jackie bit her lip, because she did care. She cared a lot.


	2. I Hate Everything About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie and Hyde had similar reasons for the way they acted, and reacted to each other from the beginning. Follow their love story from the very start.
> 
> A series of One Shots that Follow Jackie and Hyde through their friendship and Love Story.

Hyde

He didn’t know how it happened, but it seemed like Jackie and him got left alone a lot in the basement. He hated it. More than he hated being left alone with her, he loathed Kelso screwed around on her. She was still nearly unbearable, but he had gotten weirdly protective of the tiny pain in the ass. It was like he was burning himself. He didn’t want to feel shit for Jackie. Hyde could see she wanted to believe in her sunshine and rainbow version of Kelso like a priest wants to believe his parishioners give a damn about his sermons. There was something about her never ending belief that everything would be okay, that made him want to make it okay. It made him want to protect that part of her.  _ HE REALLY HATED THAT.  _ Sometimes when she was being super annoying, he wanted to crush the sunshine out of her, so she would realize life wasn’t a fucking fairytale. He felt this overwhelming need to shout at her that even when you are a Princess the world doesn't give a damn. Today was one of those days. She wouldn’t stop.  _ Michael this. Michael that. Blah fucking Blah.  _ Little did she know that Kelso was probably making out with some random chick somewhere. For the most part he was tuning her out, until one of her stupid ramblings pierced his shield.

“He makes my life better when things are rough.”

_ Her life rough….his brain sneered. Like this spoiled brat knew bad. Like the Fucking Point Place Princess had any idea what pain, suffering or real life was like.  _ His own foul mood and his home life getting worse escalated the worse part of him, and what would be a long history of extreme reactions to Jackie. Hyde lost it.

“Oh, please princess….. Like you have any damn idea, what life being bad means. Did Daddy forget to buy you a pony? Did someone forget to tell you how beautiful you are? God! You are so annoying. You wanna know where Kelso is? I would bet my stash he’s making out with a girl who isn’t you. Because you don’t mean anything to him. You don’t mean anything to any of us. You are just the stupid cheerleader we have to put up with until Kelso either gets what he wants out of you or realizes you will never screw him.”

As the last bullet spewed from his mouth, he came back to focus. Jackie and him had bantered, traded insults, burns, been pretty mean to each other, but he knew what he yelled was the single worst thing he had ever said to anyone. Her face was frozen in shock, and those eyes…. Those damn kaleidoscope eyes were filled with pain, and then much to his horror… tears.

Hyde tried to walk it back “Jackie….”

She put her hand up instantly. It surprised him enough that he stopped. This would be a key moment in their relationship. He would respect her deeply from this moment on even if he would never admit it. It was impossible for him not to respect her effort to marshal and control her feelings. Her eyes slammed down. She took a breath that went down all the way down to her toes, and she then opened them back up. Her tears were in check, the pain masked, and she rose. Hyde knew he would get no reaction from her. She wouldn't give him the pleasure. He felt a deep sickness in his stomach. He watched her silently move to the door. She opened the door, and before she stepped out, for the first time since he had met her, her voice came to him quietly.

“Hyde?”

For once…. He had no idea what might be coming his way, so he went with simple

“Yeah?”

“You don’t know anything about my life. You don’t know anything about my idea of bad.”

She stepped out pulling the door shut softly behind her. Leaving him with guilt, and another clue in his growing tally that Jackie knew exactly what rough was…. Even if he wanted to refuse to believe it.

He was still sitting in his chair when Kelso blew in with a giant box in his hand, and just looking at it…. He knew. He prayed to whatever God, that had abandoned him long ago that maybe he was wrong.

“Hey Hyde! You seen Jackie? She was supposed to meet me here, so I could take her out for her birthday.”

Hyde’s eyes fluttered closed and acknowledge once again an unanswered prayer. Not that this one was on the Universe. He had been a dick all on his own. 

“She was here. She left.”

Kelso looked at his friend strangely. There was a quality in his voice, one if he didn’t know better, sounded like he felt ashamed, but that couldn’t be possible, Hyde never felt guilty about anything. He shook it off and asked the obvious. 

“Why did she leave? I’m taking her out.”

Hyde could only tell the truth. “Me. She left because of me.”

  
  
  



	3. The Gods Give and The Gods Take Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie wonders what she has to done make the world hate her so much, but finds softness in a pair of eyes that she never thought possible.
> 
> First Time He Calls Her Doll

Jackie

Sometimes Jackie was convinced that all the stories in Mythology were true, and  _ The Gods _ she had read so much about in school hated her. They gave her perfect beauty at the cost of her being lonely and constantly getting her heart stomped on. The Gods gave, and the Gods took away, her teacher had said. She was convinced this was one of those moments, where things were being taken away. She was sitting in the back of the Vista Cruiser sandwiched between Hyde and Fez, while Eric and Donna cuddled in the front. Right now Jackie hated them with everything she was. She hated Eric was a better guy than Michael. She wanted to punch Donna for having a boy who loved her when she didn’t look anywhere near as stunning as she did. Jackie closed her eyes and knew that was spiteful and mean, but she didn’t care. Anything to distract from the hurt in her heart and the awkwardness of sitting next to Hyde. Desperate not to touch him in anyway, she sat as stiffly as she possibly could, staring beyond him into the dark as snowflakes sparkled the night. Jackie was trying to understand where her social world took a turn for the worst. One minute she had a boyfriend, a trip to her parents’ ski cabin with her sort of friends (she hasn’t been able to truly think of them as her friends, since Hyde told her different) planned, and the promise of actually being happy for once. Then boom, Michael was making out with Pam Macy, and she was refusing to cancel the trip in a desperate attempt to make all of them like her. Wanting so badly to be more than the annoyance Hyde said she was.

She was honestly at a loss how this all happened. Jackie didn’t know where she had gotten off track, and started to give a damn what this weird group of outcasts thought. She for sure couldn’t place, when stupid Hyde’s opinion started to matter, but despite her best efforts his opinion mattered desperately. Now her worst nightmare was coming true, this stupid band of idiots was connected to Michael, and they had just broken up. She was going to lose the only place that had started to feel like home. Jackie didn’t think her life could possibly get any worse, when the Gods shook their heads at her subconscious dare. One minute she was sitting perfectly still, and the next she was hurtling hard into Hyde and the passenger door. It knocked the wind right out of her lungs so hard that for a minute she saw black. 

She came right back to the world. She hadn’t really blacked out as much as seen stars, and got lost. 

“Hey Doll. Open those eyes and look at me.” a gruff voice demanded.

The stars cleared, and she found they had left her eyes and traveled to the frantic eyes of Steven Hyde. His eyes were brilliant in the moonlight, and in that minute she discovered her new favorite color was blue steel. 

“What happened?” She asked.

“Forman hit a patch of ice, and we skidded into the ditch. You flew into me and the passenger door. Are you okay? Anything hurt? You faded on me for a second. Did you hit your head?”

She was breathless, and it wasn’t because of the slam into the door. It was because Hyde’s eyes were hypnotic. She didn’t know the last time she had seen naked concern for her in anyone’s eyes….including her parents. It was dazzling her. 

Her silence must have worried him, because he ran his thumb across her cheek gently, and he said again with his concern evident in his tone.

“Jackie? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I just got the wind knocked out of me. Sorry I slammed into you.” Jackie said, painfully aware he was cradling her in his arms. 

Before more could be said, Eric jumped in the car and said he had taken care of the issue. Hyde shifted her to where he had been sitting, put himself in the middle where there was no seatbelt, and buckled her in quickly.

“We can’t have you flying around the car.” Hyde muttered as she felt him make sure the seatbelt was tight and secure.

Jackie’s heart was pounding hard. She lightly touched his hand, and whispered “Thank You.”

His eyes met hers and she could see his regret for his harsh words from weeks ago. He smiled at her softly, and whispered

_ “Anything for your Doll.” _

Jackie had never heard him call anyone Doll before, and it made her stomach flutter. There was a warmth, a richness she had never heard in his tone when he called her Doll that made her feel like she had just drank a mug of hot chocolate. There was a softness that seemed to be for her and Jackie grabbed it quickly to her heart

Jackie turned her head back to the fairytale sky, and wondered if The Gods' had just given her a miracle. Maybe just Maybe…. Steven Hyde cared about her.

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Take My Breath Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde takes Jackie to Prom, and something comes to life inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that while I am using canon moments, I will diverge from them. I will be adding my own AU moments and scenes. I have a ton of stories that I have started but am not sure I can turn into a whole universe, so Love Story takes many of those ideas and gives them a place to come to life.

Hyde

He had lost his _God. Damn. Mind._ _What in the hell had he been thinking?_ It took a lot to fluster Hyde, but he was a near hurricane of panic. He was resting his head against his closed bedroom door, his eyes closed, and his hands curled into fists. If someone had told him three days ago, he would be standing here in a freaking tux waiting for his date to show up, he would have laughed and then asked if they were high. Yet here he was in his dump of a house waiting with a sharp ear for the sound of knocking, so he could take Jackie to the Prom. He sighed heavily, _Freaking Jackie._ He was pretty sure she was a plant from the government, sent to invade his brain and send him over the edge. 

_ “How the hell did this happen?”  _ He asked himself for the 100th time. 

Hyde quietly sighed again, he knew how it happened, it was _Jackie._ She made him weak. He gave himself a moment to reflect on that weakness and how it drove him to be waiting to go to the damn prom. 

* * *

_ The basement was quiet. Hyde took a deep breath in and enjoyed letting it out. He relished it being the only sound in the room. The last few weeks had been drama central in the basement. First he was a total ass to Jackie. He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought, he really did feel guilty for being a dick to her. She had never said a word to Kelso about it. Nothing. He had expected to get his ass chewed, but not a word. That made him feel worse. Jackie wasn’t willing to expose her hurt to Kelso, she was keeping it wrapped close. It made him sad, because he understood that way of dealing with things. It was his mode of operation. It was painfully obvious she was stilted with the gang now. Hyde could read it in her eyes, and Donna had asked the room a few times if anyone thought Jackie was mad at her. Then stupid Kelso had messed around on Jackie with Pam Macy and of course gotten caught. Jackie had broken up with him, and they had all gotten to deal with the drama. He felt a little better about his shitty actions. He and Jackie were in a better place. After the Ski Cabin she would look at him again, and seemed to understand he was sorry. Hyde was glad it was all over or at least waning. He needed the quiet. He wanted peace, and he craved his emotions being settled. The door slammed open, throwing him out of his private musing to a world full of color, represented in Jackie. _

_ “What the hell Jackie?” He muttered. “Is it possible for you to come into a room quietly?” _

_ She smirked at him. “Why would I want to do that? I was made to create an entrance. I’m a big deal.” _

_ Hyde rolled his eyes and muttered “You’re something.”  _

_ He closed his eyes and ignored her. For a while he reveled in the peace. Yet, now that she was in the room, the silence felt sharp, and he didn’t like it. She was never quiet. Never. He opened his eyes to find her silently crying. It nearly shattered his heart. It was the worst thing he had ever seen. This was an inside out Jackie. Her pain was on the outside instead of hidden, and it was awful.  _

_ “Jackie? What’s wrong?” He asked her frantically, wanting to do anything to make her stop. _

* * *

A soft knock brought him back from the day that landed him here. Jackie had been upset, Kelso was going to the prom, and now she wasn’t. Her humiliation at being cheated on and having another dream wrecked were loud in her silent tears. Against his better judgment, all that was sacred, and common sense, he had asked Jackie to freaking prom. Desperate to get her to stop looking like someone had shredded her heart, he gave her what she wanted….someone to rescue her. 

A second soft knock, pulled him all the way out, and motivated him to get his ass to the door. The last thing he needed was his Mom to answer the door. He grabbed the flower he had bought for Jackie, told his mom he was leaving, was taunted with a jeer, and was out the door in seconds. Hyde was completely unprepared for what stood before him, a Jackie who looked like she didn’t belong on earth. Her hair was swept all the way up with a few curls striving to escape, making her look sweet and tempting. Her big doll eyes were huge tonight. They were pure smoke, and she had used her girl junk to make them luminous. Her dress was a soft lilac, and it framed her in a way that didn’t want to make him want to rip her clothes off, but merely dream about what was underneath. Every part of Jackie looked soft, and it was coercing his heart to slam in his chest. Before he could stop himself, he let out quietly 

“Wow, you look beautiful.”

He watched her eyes swirl with a wisp of a happy at the compliment. A secret smile appeared on her face. A smile he had never seen before, and it made him feel warm. Hyde was confident in that moment, her smile was only for him.

“You do too.” she said back with embarrassment. 

Her cheeks tinged with dusty rose at her words. Watching Jackie was always a joy for Hyde, and in this strange moment on his piece of shit porch, he knew he could spend his life studying her and never get bored. She broke the strange moment with a nod towards the box.

“Is that for me?” 

“Yeah. Figured, it was part of the deal.” he smirked out.

“Thank You.” she shyly responded, as he put it on her wrist. She stood on her tippy toes, and kissed his cheek. 

Hyde felt like someone had put a match to his face. That tiny whisper of kiss, caused his cheek to burn. He jerked back, and put distance between the two of them. 

“None of that doll. Ready to go?” 

He couldn't even think about Jackie kissing him and he was smart enough to shut down what would only cause him trouble.

She merely nodded her answer. He took her hand, and realized instantly it was a mistake to touch her bare flesh. Her tiny hand melded perfectly into his, and touching her skin was worse than the kiss. It was like something dead inside of him fired to life. 

He led Jackie to her dad’s Lincoln in total awe of her, and the fire raging through his veins. All of a sudden, he didn’t care that he didn’t want to be there. It no longer mattered this was his personal hell. His previous objections were silenced by something he would never admit. He was excited to go to the Prom. His whole body sung music of a terrible thrill. He was going to prom with freaking Jackie Burkhart, and he couldn’t be happier about it.


	5. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie gets a glimpse of Hyde's life and is forced to make a promise she isn't sure she can keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know that some of my show points might be out of order, or I have forgotten the exact wording from the show.

**_Jackie_ **

Jackie had a death grip on the steering wheel of her daddy’s Lincoln. It was pouring rain, and she could barely see the road. On her very best day, she would admit she wasn’t a skilled driver. Everyone liked to make fun of her for it, never letting her borrow their cars. Michael was still pissed at her for ruining his stupid piece of crap of a van. He had been such an ass about it, telling her she had to pay him. Her head had near exploded at the idea she owed him anything. Hyde had come to the rescue challenging Kelso and her to tally all the expenses they had spent on each other while they had been dating. By the time that little episode was complete, it came out Michael owed her money. It made her smile to think about it. She felt her attention drift to the memory.

* * *

_“You owe her 4,000 dollars” Hyde calculated. “That includes you setting her house on fire”_

_She popped up and held out her hand “I want my money Michael!”_

_Kelso looked at her indignantly and gave an exasperated huff at Hyde. “Well, I guess I can let go, that you damaged my van.” He then made a quick exit, wanting to get away fast from any notion he owed Jackie money._

_Jackie squealed, spun to Hyde, and without thinking threw herself in his arms. He hugged her back, but quickly removed her from his arms._

_“Thank You so much.” She giggled._

_Hyde gently clucked her under her chin, and smirked “I’ve always got you covered Doll.”_

* * *

Jackie smiled softly to herself. She absolutely loved when he called her Doll. They had turned some sort of corner after prom. Hyde was kinder to her, and was quick to defend her when Michael was being well… _Michael._ She was now included in the group, and there was no argument about it. She knew it had more to do with no one wanting to piss off Hyde over feeling a deep friendship for her, but it was a start. Hyde never failed to offer a Popsicle or remember to bring her a pop if he went to get himself one. It was the dumbest thing in the world, but the other day there had only been one Cherry Popsicle left, and Fez had wanted it. Hyde had told him no, because it was her favorite. He picked her over Fez, and it gave her a strange thrill. Jackie lived in a world where no one noticed anything about her. Her parents never even remembered her birthday, but Hyde knew her favorite flavor of Popsicle. He never brought her anything but lemon lime pop from the fridge. Her very favorite. These simple points were priceless to her, because she had never said a word to him about either. He had simply noticed. He had taken the time to pay attention. It made her feel loved. Jackie wasn’t stupid enough to believe Hyde loved her, but it was nice to feel cared about. 

Her thoughts drifted back to the rain soaked road just in time to see someone walk in front of her headlights in the crosswalk. She slammed on her brakes, and felt her car slide towards the person in her unfortunate path. Somewhere in the back of her screaming mind a little voice said _“This is why you are a terrible driver. You don’t pay attention.”_ By some miracle her car stopped without hitting the person in front of her. The beams of light illuminated a very wet and very pissed off Steven Hyde. She barely remembered to throw the car in park, before jumping out into the pounding rain.

“What the _HELL ARE YOU DOING?_ I almost hit you. Didn’t your mother ever teach you to look both ways?”

She expected him to yell at her for nearly killing him, but he seemed dazed, almost lost. Jackie had never seen him like this. He was holding his left arm strangely, and staring blankly in the rain like she hadn’t almost plowed him down. 

“Are you okay?” she said much softer, and for whatever crazy reason her nearly inaudible request roused him more than her screaming at him.

“Fuck Jackie! You almost hit me.” he growled at her. He turned to walk away, and Jackie watched him stumble a little. Like hell, she was letting him wander around in rain, acting like a total weirdo. If he was on something and not able to make sensible decisions, she wasn’t going to let get away from her. She hurried after him, and grabbed his arm. He hissed as if she had hit him and pulled away from her. 

“Go the hell away Jackie.” 

It didn’t matter it was raining, or that it was near pitch black, she threw out a threat she knew would get him to fold.

“If you don’t get in the car, I’ll just follow you around in the rain. I’ll probably get pneumonia and die. It will be all your fault.”

He stopped suddenly, and muttered under his breath. She swore she heard him say,

_“You are going to be the death of me.”_

Without another word she could catch, he headed straight to her car. He got in silently. She followed unsure of what to do or what to say. This version of Hyde was out of her depth, but she sensed he needed someone, and she wanted to be that person. 

Jackie got back in and shut the door. She tried to gain her footing with what she thought was a simple question “Should I drop you off at your house?”

His whole body tensed, and for a brief moment she could see panic. 

“No. Just came from there.” He said it gruffly but didn’t elaborate. Jackie creased her head in confusion and suggested his favorite place.

“Do you need a ride to Eric’s?”

This caused quite the reaction, one that startled her. 

“NO!” 

He yelled it so loudly, she jerked the wheel, and almost hit the curb. Which caused him to yell at her again.

“Damn it Jackie. Are you the worst driver on earth?”

She chose not to respond, and decided to take him to her house. It wasn’t like there was anyone at home. Her housekeeper wouldn’t care if Hyde was over. Someone could murder her in her sleep and Varnia wouldn’t care as long as her paychecks kept coming. He didn’t say anything to her until they pulled into her garage. 

“What the hell are we doing here?”

She turned to look at him and did something out of bounds of who they were. She picked up his hand, rubbed it gently, and said

“I don’t know where else to take you. You aren’t okay, and I am not leaving you alone until you are. No one is here. My parents are on another trip, you don’t have to worry about anyone giving a damn.”

Jackie watched her words surprise him, maybe even touch him, but all he did was nod. For once in her life, she understood silence was the best option, that her talking would set him on edge. She took his hand to lead him into the house. Jackie expected him to pull away from her. She had noticed he was strange about her touching him, but this time he tightened his hand on hers. They strolled past her dark and empty living room to climb the stairs to her room. 

“I’m going to go get some towels so you can dry off, and I think the pool boy left some clothes here. Last time he spent the night, I think they should work okay while your clothes dry.”

She saw his head snap up at the comment about the pool boy. Jackie hadn’t meant to let it slip, but she had been too worried attempting to solve how she was going to get him warm. She sighed heavily.

“Please don’t ask.” Jackie didn’t want to explain her mother screwing anyone who walked in the door. His eyes softened at her request, and simply said

“That’s cool”

She hurried off to gather what she needed, and brought it back into her room. He seemed a little more focused, but he was still holding his arm strangely. She was desperate to ask, but she instinctively knew better. 

“Here’s some dry clothes and towels. I’m going to take a shower to warm up and get changed. Just throw your clothes out in the hall, and I will put your clothes in the dryer.”

A smirk spread across her face, and he jeered with gentleness “The Princess can use a dryer?” 

Jackie wanted to snark back, but she could hear the teasing was with affection. It made her happy to see him coming back to himself.

She put on her most imperial tone “I’m a woman of many talents.”

She watched his eyes shift, and become intense. His words were silky when he retorted,

“I bet you are Doll.”

Jackie felt herself heat, and a warmth she had never experienced before was spreading through her body like wildfire. She could sense the blush on her cheeks, and for the first time in a long time she was flustered. She stuttered out,

“I'm just going to go shower.” 

Jackie turned on her heel and dashed out. She leaned on the wall outside of her bedroom for a minute. She let her eyes fall closed, and tried to collect herself. His voice had nearly undone her. He had sounded like he wanted her. There was something undeniably sexy about Hyde, and it was the first time he had turned it on for her. She was near breathless. Jackie schooled her body, and grounded herself. She was Jackie Burkhart. She controlled a situation. She mastered the moment. She didn’t let anyone fluster her. Her heart calmed, and her brain kicked in. She stepped away from the wall towards the bathroom when she realized she forgot clothes to change into. She certainly couldn’t go back into her room only in a towel. Without thinking, simply eager to be on even ground again with Hyde, she pushed into her room. What she saw caused her to cry out.

“Steven! What happened to you?” 

He was shirtless. Somewhere in the back of Jackie’s mind she appreciated how sexy he was, but she was unable to focus on anything but the terrible bruise on his back. It was topped off with a gash that was bleeding across his shoulder down his forearm. She ran to him, totally focused on his injury, not noticing the complete horror flooding his face. Jackie was about to place her hands on him when he jerked away.

“Leave me alone, Jackie. Get out, just go take your shower.” Hyde barked at her.

Jackie was stunned by the fact he was hurt, and by his angry tone. For whatever reason her mind focused on the stupid. 

“Did you just tell me to leave my own room?” She marveled.

He glared at her. “Fine, if you won't leave, I will.” 

She watched him grab his shirt, and try to put it back on. His face contorted into pain, and he doubled over. Jackie watched him drop to the ground, and let his head fall back on her bed. His face was etched with agony, and it tore her heart. She acted on instinct and rushed at him despite his request to be left alone. 

“Steven. Stop it. Don’t be stupid. Let me help you.”

This time he didn’t move, but he wouldn’t look at her. She slid down on the floor next to him and grabbed his hand. 

“How did this happen?” she asked quietly. 

If she was hoping for a response, they were dashed. The silence was heavy and pressing down on her. Her mind cast back to the car and his words about _just coming from home._ Jackie swallowed heavily. His mom had done this. It made her furious. She wanted to scream, throw things, hunt Hyde’s worthless mom down and kick her ass. His heavy breathing brought her back from her private tantrum. He was still refusing to look at her. Almost like she was approaching a dangerous animal, she reached slowly for a towel next to his leg. Jackie knew that if she asked any more questions he would bolt, or worse break down. He would hate that. So she did what she did best, she babbled.

“Can you believe Eric and Donna? God, I mean, get a room! Who wants to watch that?” She said as she pressed the towel on his festering cut. 

Tears nearly escaped when he winced and his body tightened even more. She forced herself to not react, her emotions would only hurt him. Instead, she kept the steady stream of nonsense going, watching his breathing like a mother watches her newborn it’s first night home. Every stupid word out of her mouth seemed to relax him. He needed a bandage, but she was scared to get up, worried he would leave. He started to reach for the shirt again, but she squeezed his hand tightly. Jackie bolted to her bathroom grabbed the first aid kit and was back in seconds. She made no eye contact when she left or came back, desperate to give him what she was certain he needed. Jackie plopped back down, and started to clean the wound. His hiss was worse as the alcohol hit his damaged skin, but still not a word left his lips. It didn’t take her too long to clean him up and put the bandage on. They hadn’t spoken or looked at each other in 20 minutes, but Jackie knew he was acutely aware of everything she was doing. She scooted herself as close to him as she could, grabbed his hand tightly, kissed his hurt, and leaned her head on the part of his skin not alive with pain. For once in her life, she let the silence stand, and attempted to give someone what they needed other than what made her comfortable. Finally, after a considerable amount of time, he broke the stalemate.

“Jackie, you can’t tell. You have to promise.”

She bit her lip. She unconsciously lessened her grip and tried to pull away. He tightened his grip, and turned to look at her. His eyes were naked with all his pain, and it broke her heart. She looked away quickly. Jackie desperately didn’t want to agree to this. Someone should know, even it was simply Eric who could keep an eye out. He must have sensed her hesitation because his grip became harder, and his voice demanding.

“Look at me, Jackie.”

She immediately responded to his request by bringing her eyes to his. 

“I mean it Jackie, you can’t tell. Please.” 

It was the please more than anything that caused her to crumble. She had never heard him ask for anything serious. His eyes were begging her, and she couldn’t bring herself to not give into him.

“I promise, but how will I know you are safe?” she asked. The mere thought of this happening again was making her sick. 

In a rare moment of vulnerability he brought his forehead to hers and replied,

“I’ll be okay.”

She bit her lip again to stop herself from crying, but she couldn’t stop herself from hugging him close and whispering

“Promise?”

He pulled her close and whispered back, “I promise.”

Jackie felt the night press on her so heavily that she let out what normally would have been guarded secret. 

“You have to keep that promise. I need you.” 

She would never know it, but he had answered in his head _“I need you more.”_

  
  
  
  



	6. Fix it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie breaks a promise to help Hyde and his reaction nearly breaks them before they have even started.
> 
> *Trigger Warning-Please Read Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I want to say that last night I posted this originally without a Trigger Warning. It was careless of me. I was tired before bed.... and I just plain forgot. I apologize to the reader I offended. I try so hard to be good about that.
> 
> I am in no way and will NEVER CONDONE ABUSE OF ANY KIND. If you have read any of my other stories (Somewhere Along The Way), you know how passionate I am about getting help to abuse victims. 
> 
> If you are in any kind of abusive situation YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT! 
> 
> I did go back and change elements of this chapter, which is unlike me because I do believe in the element of a story when it ties to the great picture, but I just felt so bad, I rewrote a few parts. I lost sleep over it. 
> 
> All I can say is I've stepped in front of Abusive Parents to protect my students. I have helped two women escape dangerous situations, and once put myself in danger blocking a hospital room to keep someone I love from having a confrontation with her asshole of a partner. I don't take any form of abuse lightly. 
> 
> I hope my readers always know my heart is in the right place.  
> QBB

Hyde

Hyde headed towards the basement with a strange mix of feeling settled, and like he was hanging off the edge of a cliff. Things in his life were both calm but also secretly a storm. He loved his job at the Fotohut if you could even call it a job. Leo was barely a boss. Most of the time, Hyde felt like he was in charge of Leo. He also had a convenient supplier to stash now. Hell, he had spent most of his shift today high as a damn kite. When he was high he didn’t have to think about the guilt gnawing at him every moment of the day. Despite his inner turmoil, it was the first time in weeks, he didn’t feel like the world was giving him the middle finger. Things had been shit after Edna had cut open his arm. Jackie finding out had been humiliating, but he appreciated her help and comfort. Which only brought another wave of intense guilt when he thought about how sweet she had been with him that night. Then the cherry to his nightmare home life had been his own mother, abandoning him. The Formans’ had taken him in, he both hated it and was beyond grateful. It killed his pride, but he also didn’t want to live on the streets, or drop out of school. No matter what he said, he knew that if he didn’t have his diploma he might as well just mosey himself to the prison and check himself in. Life was feeling hopeful except for…. _No, he wasn’t even going there._ He didn’t want to think of her. If he thought about Jackie, he would lose his mind. It was best to try to forget the bond they had formed and what he had done to crush it. He stepped into the basement ready to chill for the night. A lone Eric greeted Hyde in the basement, no one else seemed to be around.

‘Hey, man, what's up?” Hyde said in greeting. 

He watched Eric turn to study him, surprised probably at his mood. It wasn’t like being outwardly happy was his normal. 

“Nothing much. Just hanging out.”

Hyde took the words at face value, not hearing the odd tone of voice from his oldest friend.

“Where is everyone?” he asked absently as he walked to his chair. 

“Fez had a church event with his host parents, Kelso had a family thing he couldn’t ditch, and Donna is out.”

Hyde hadn’t been paying attention, not really caring all that much where his friends were. Not that he didn’t care, but he was too content at the moment to think about their absence. Yet, something about how Eric finished the sentenced bothered him. _“Donna is out,”_ was a weird way for Forman to phrase it. He said specifically where everyone else was except Donna.

“Where is Donna at?” he asked.

Hyde was pretty sure why Forman had been general in his statement. Donna had to be with Jackie, and Forman didn’t want to say it. Jackie had been nonexistent in the basement since he moved in. He had not seen her since….he shut it down again, He didn’t want to think about it. Hyde detected his mild mood rapidly fading. 

“She is out with Jackie.” Eric replied with a hint of a worry in his voice.

Hyde rolled his eyes. Forman could be such a girl sometimes. 

“Why didn’t you just say that? What’s the big deal if she is out with Jackie? They are friends.” 

He gave his very best zen vibe while answering, he didn’t want to have this conversation with Forman. Eric didn’t seem to get the signal he didn’t want to talk about Jackie because he pressed forward. 

“I heard you that night, Hyde. The night you moved in, when she came over to try to talk to you. I was coming down the stairs. I heard the whole thing. I know I call her the Devil, but she was only worried about you. She didn’t do anything wrong. Donna could barely get her to calm down that night. If Donna hadn’t been out in the driveway, she would have run away in tears. I don’t know if any of us would have ever seen her again.”

His heart clutched at Forman’s words. He wanted to erase that night from his memory, forget that once again he had sliced Jackie off at the knees. He folded his arms across his chest, closed his eyes behind his glasses, and felt shame start to eat him alive. 

“Hyde, you screamed at her.” 

He heard the disappointment and judgment in Eric’s quiet tone. 

He had screamed at her, He had done worse, he had scared her.

* * *

_Hyde was pacing the basement like a tiger. He couldn’t get his emotions under control. When Mr. and Mrs. Forman had arrived at his door, he knew instantly she blabbed. What in the world made him think Jackie Burkhart could keep her mouth shut? They had started to get closer after the night in the rain. He hated to see the worry in her eyes, it ate at him. It killed him to see her scan his body for pain, or attempt to judge his mood. It was obvious what she was looking for, but didn’t want to ask. Which he was grateful for. He didn’t want her to ask. She had not brought up that night to him once. She was respecting his unspoken wishes, even though it was against her nature. There was no denying she had a softness for him, to him it was like a fucking beacon of light. He had let himself get sucked into that beam, starting to believe she cared about him and then BOOM…... She had gotten back together with Kelso, which pissed him off. That ass didn’t deserve her, and he hated her for being so stupid. Still, despite her having a dumbass boyfriend, their friendship had grown. He had thought he could trust her. He believed when she didn’t tell about his mom hurting him, that he could believe her when she said she wouldn’t talk. As usual, he had been screwed over._

_He was both happy and horrified to be at the Formans. Things had been getting bleak, but he hated the idea of being a charity case. The logical part of him knew the Formans didn’t view him that way. Eric was his best friend, and it was cool to be living with him. Hyde had always considered him a brother more than a friend. The place inside of him that was unfailingly blunt knew he was actually angry and hurt about his mom abandoning him, not that Jackie had told. That portion of him was silenced, because dealing with strong emotion was not an area Hyde excelled. His usual way of dealing with his feelings was to push them down or lash out. He knew if he didn’t do something to release how he was feeling, he would explode in the worst way possible. It was that exact moment Jackie wandered in._

_‘Hey” she said quietly._

_She was the last person he wanted to see, “Get out of here, Jackie. I don’t want to talk to you.”_

_Her eyes flared like a sunrise burning across the earth. It pissed him off even more that he couldn't help, but think she was the sexiest thing on earth._

_“When are you going to learn telling me to get out doesn’t work. I’m not going to leave a friend who needs me.”_

_The words Friend and Need set him off. She was so full of shit. She had said she needed him and was back with Kelso. She called herself a friend, and she blabbed his mom had left. He needed a target, and Jackie had just painted a bullseye on herself._

_“Bullshit. A friend doesn’t break promises. A friend doesn’t run around and tell everyone their business. I should have known better. The last person on this earth I need is you.”_

_He could see the hurt flood her face instantly, but he didn’t give a damn. He was so fucking pissed._

_“Steven, I was only trying to help. You are only 17. You can’t live on your own.”_

_His fury broke, at the idea he couldn’t take care of himself, and he snapped completely. Hyde didn’t yell or lose his temper fully often, but when he did it was a sight to behold. He was out of control._

_“No! YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. I’m not a stupid pampered princess like you are. I’ve been taking care of myself for years. I haven’t spent years being worthless and bouncing around playing with my hair. You told Jackie! YOU PROMISED. You told them about my mom leaving. I bet you told them about the night in the rain. I bet you went straight to them with your Poor Hyde story. Admit it! Admit You told them!”_

_Her eyes were huge on his. She turned on her heel to leave. Hyde took two steps forward and grabbed her wrist, so she couldn’t walk away. It was far from gentle and he jerked her hard._

_“Let go.You are hurting me” She cried._

_Her fear might as well have been a cold buck of water. Hyde stepped back right away, frozen by the complete horror on her face. She was shaking, and tears were falling fast. He wanted to say he was sorry, but the words were stuck in his throat, under his complete terror, he had put his hands on her. They stared at each other for what seemed like a million years to Hyde, but were merely seconds. She blinked, and then raced out the door._

* * *

Forman’s voice broke the horrible memory. “Hyde if she hadn’t yelled at you to let go, I was coming down the stairs. You were out of control. I’m surprised Donna hasn’t kicked your ass. I’m guessing the only reason she hasn’t is because Jackie begged her to drop it. Hyde…. You have to fix this.”

He closed his eyes against the rising bile in his throat. He had terrorized someone like his mom had done to him. He was such a bastard. 

“I don’t know how to fix it. She won’t talk to me. She won’t come here, and if I see her at school, she runs the other way.”

For a while, neither of them said anything. Hyde was starting to settle back down when Forman shattered the calm.

“Hyde, she didn’t tell me or my parents anything about whatever injury you were yelling about. She never said a word. True, after the skinny dipping incident she told my mom you were living alone. I would have narked on you eventually, Jackie just beat me to it. You have to fix it Hyde. She did the right thing. If the roles had been reversed are you telling me you wouldn’t have gone out of your way to protect her? Kelso may be completely oblivious, but Hyde….it’s obvious Jackie is more than just your friend. She matters to you.”

Forman couldn't be more right. If he had thought Jackie was in danger, or he didn’t like her situation, he would have demanded something be done about it. Truly, he was shocked she had promised to keep quiet about the gash. He wouldn’t have done it for her, the mere idea she could be abused was unacceptable to him. Hyde had already started to question her home life, but wasn’t sure what the hell was going on there. Jackie was cagey. It was hard to get real answers out of her. He sighed heavily at Forman’s last words…. _She matters to you_. He sometimes forgot how observant Eric could be, how well he knew him. 

“Donna is bringing her to the basement tonight. We told her you had a date right after work, and that you wouldn't be back until late. Donna’s going to guard the bottom door, and I’m going to block the kitchen. Neither of you are leaving until you are okay again. She’s annoying, and I want to tape her mouth shut most of the time, and I swear she is the human form of evil, but she is part our gang now. I want her back in the damn basement, and so do you.”

With that he stood up, and headed upstairs. Hyde went back to his room, and tried to gather his thoughts. He didn’t believe ambushing Jackie was a good idea, but he didn’t have a better one, so he would deal with the fallout of this dumb plan. He laid on his cot for almost an hour before he heard her voice. Hyde could safely say he never thought he would be happy to hear her voice but here he was near fucking ecstatic. He had missed her, terribly, because Eric was right. Jackie mattered. She mattered more than he wanted her too. He heard Donna say she needed to go next door to grab a magazine she wanted Jackie to read. Hyde rolled his eyes. He knew this was her lame excuse to leave Jackie in the basement, but block the door. He took a minute to relax everything in his body, he didn’t want to frighten her. Hyde moved quietly out of his room, so he could spend a minute observing her. Her sweet smell floated to him. It soothed him in a way pot never could. It thrilled him to see her back in his sphere. 

“Hey” he said quietly from behind her.

He watched her spin instantly. All his sins rammed back into his heart as he watched fear flush her face. She jumped up, and seemed both frozen but aimed for flight. Her eyes darted both at the stairs and the basement door. 

He decided the first course of action was to let her know what was going on. 

“Don’t bother to bolt. Forman’s upstairs blocking the door, and Donna is blocking the other door. They want us to talk it out. The first thing I want to say is I didn’t plan this. If you are uncomfortable, I will go upstairs and force Eric to let me out.”

She said not a word, her eyes were trembling out her story though. It was near bringing tears to his eyes. Jackie was scared of him. It mortified him that he could be the cause of any woman to be afraid. He stayed where he was, he had no right to approach her.

“Jackie, I’m sorry. I should have never touched you when I was angry. It is literally the worst thing I have ever done. You didn’t deserve a word of what I said to you. You certainly didn’t deserve to be terrorized. There isn’t an excuse for my behavior. I should have just walked away until I had my shit together.”

He had hoped to witness her eyes soften, but she was still standing there like stone. 

“I don’t want you to avoid the basement. Eric is pissed you haven't been here. Donna wants to kick my ass, and it isn’t the same without you. I can sit as far away from you as possible. I won’t talk to you or do anything you don’t want, but you belong here. I’ll leave if I have to. You didn’t do anything wrong. It is not your fault….”

He trailed off and choked out what he never wanted but always feared “It’s not your fault, I’m trash like my mom. It’s not your fault that I’m a piece of trash who hurts people.” 

He felt tears sting his eyes at his last confession. Hyde had never wanted to be his parents, and he closed his eyes against the terrible truth that he was. He started to stumble blindly back to his room, he couldn’t have this conversation anymore. Before he could open his eyes to flee, slight but strong arms wrapped around him, and that soft healing whisper of hers floated to his ears.

“You aren’t trash. You aren’t your mother.” 

His eyes sprang open and down. There she was giving him comfort even though he had scared her. Hyde wrapped his arms around her petite frame instantly, and gathered her close. 

“I’m sorry Doll. I am so sorry.”

She curled into him, her face pressed hard against his chest and sobbed. Each tear released felt like a whiplash on his bare skin, a desperate painful burn. Every acid filled tear of hurt was due to him, and it hurt to experience her agony. Hyde wanted to push her way, and separate himself from the torture, but this was a punishment he deserved. He would take each crack of the whip her tears felt like without complaint. 

After a while, her tears slowed, she released him, and stepped back from him. Her eyes were massive with feeling. Hyde didn’t know how she could stand to have everything she felt on display. He marveled at her bravery. She put her hand on his chest gently, and turned her head away from him before she spoke.

“I didn’t tell what your mom did, but I should have. I should have never agreed to keep silent that you were hurt. It’s the worst promise I’ve ever kept. I’m not sorry I told you were alone. I’m not sorry even a little I ratted you out. Even if you had never spoken to me again, I still wouldn’t have had a second thought.”

Her voice was dispassionate, lacking emotion, and almost apathetic. It startled him and made his stomach hurt. Jackie was none of those things, she burned energy and emotion. To hear her so matter a fact was almost scary. 

Before he could apologize again or comment on what she had said, she turned her face to his and sucked in his breath. Absolute Fury was ablaze across her face. Her eyes were deadly sharp, and a hardness he didn’t believe was possible for Jackie lined her features. 

He thought instantly this was her next level of emotion for what he did. This was her final verdict. She hated him. There was a time, that her hating him would have made smirk and laugh. All it did now was make his knees want to buckle, he tried again to express how sorry he was.

“Jackie, I was wrong. I’ll be ashamed the rest of my life that I touched you when I was pissed and that I yelled at you like that. I really am sorry.”

Her eyes soften a little, but the seriousness didn’t lessen on her face. He didn’t know what to do with quiet Jackie. It was pushing him to be what he hated, needy….desperate to hear her say she forgave him.

“Damn it Jackie say something!”

The blaze came back. Hellfire leapt back into those cat like eyes, and she said with a tone that couldn’t be denied.

“I don’t care if you hate, scream, or decide I am beneath your notice, you need someone to stand up to you. _Stand up for you._ Someone who you don’t have trained since childhood to believe you can handle everything. Someone who doesn’t give a damn if you get surly. Someone who refuses to bow to your stupid temper. _Even if you hate that it's me, I’m not ever letting anyone hurt you again._ I’m so pissed at you it’s unbelievable, but we are still friends. You dumbass.”

She spun on her heel, yanked the basement door open, yelled at Donna to move, and slammed the door behind her. 

Hyde turned immediately and strode into his room. He had no desire to talk to Forman or Donna, who would for sure want to interrogate him. He plopped on his cot, trying to process what just happened. 

Her last words echoed in his head _“Even if you hate that it's me, I’m not ever letting anyone hurt you again.”_

Her passionate promise she wouldn’t let anyone ever hurt him again filled him with a warmth he didn’t deserve but she was right….he did hate that it was her. He did hate that it was her, because the one person who shouldn’t understand his life got it perfectly. The one person whose defense he shouldn’t want, he craved desperately. He hated that he hurt her. He hated he had broken her faith in him. He hated she had seen him at his worst. Most of all he hated how much she mattered. _He hated that he might be falling for her._


	7. What's In A Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde has apologized to Jackie, but there is a distance now he can't seem to gap. He wants back the girl who took care of him. He wants the Jackie only he can see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but Jackie throughout the series showed preference with how she used names, and I wanted to use that to address the distance Hyde was feeling. Hyde also showed affection with nicknames, it's one of my favorite parts of the show. 
> 
> After this I am going to be taking some major timeline and plot divergences. 
> 
> This is not my favorite, but I hope you like it.

What's in a name?

Hyde

Hyde hated his name. He always had. He was fairly sure he always would. No one called him Steven, not even his teachers. He couldn’t remember anymore when he staged the rebellion about his first name. All he remembered was refusing to answer to Steven, and eventually everyone gave in and started calling him Hyde. 

No one dared to even go there with him, well except Mr. and Mrs. Forman, but he didn’t bother fighting with them about it. How the hell could anyone look at Mrs. Forman, and not give in to her? He would do anything for her. She was the only real mother he had ever had. If she wanted to call him Steven, he wouldn’t say a damn word. As for Red, well...he was astute enough to keep Red’s foot out of his ass, so he let it pass without complaint. Two people, that was it. Well and Edna, but screw her. So three people in his whole life….that was until Jackie. She hadn’t always called him Steven, but at some point between prom and their night in the rain, she had started to call him by his first name. At first, it was random, and it had jolted him, but he had never corrected her….not once. It screwed with his mind that he hadn’t. Then as they got closer, it was all she called him. It shocked him, it didn’t bother him all the much. A few times his friends had looked at him, waiting for him to put her in her place, but he had never raised the issue. Kelso had taken that as permission to taunt him. His answer was to punch Kelso in the face. Kelso stopped, but it didn’t stop the side eye from Eric. Then he had yelled at her like a crazy person, causing whatever closeness they had developed to come to a screeching halt. After all the drama, the attempt to make it right, and this weird middle world they were settled in, he found out something he didn’t like……. Jackie calling him Hyde. 

Hyde was sitting in his chair brooding heavily. He had apologized to Jackie, and she had accepted, but they were far from okay. She had returned to the basement, and he was back to being treated to his daily hell of watching her and Kelso all over each other. She was clearly back to her normal self with everyone, but him. They were back to the way they were before prom. She never called him anything but Hyde, and she made a point to not be alone with him. He found himself getting sharp with her like he use to. It was she was just so fucking annoying when she was with Kelso. It was like Kelso sucked the common sense and smarts right out of her. What killed him was Kelso was screwing around on her again, and she didn’t realize it. He had done everything he could to get Kelso caught, bu either she was blind or dumb as a box of rocks. That was the thing….he knew she wasn’t. He couldn’t figure it out, but she seemed to cling to the belief Kelso was a good guy. Jackie could have any guy she wanted, and she believed in the most faithless guy on the planet. It made him want to shake her and yell at her  _ “TO OPEN HER GOD DAMN EYES!”  _

He was in a mood. A rubbed raw type of mood. Donna had just found out Kelso was cheating on Jackie with Laurie. She had freaked out on both him and Eric, for not telling Jackie. Despite her chewing his and Eric’s ass, he couldn’t help but notice she hadn't told Jackie either. They all were such assholes, and that made him even crankier. He couldn’t fathom why they all stood by the person who didn’t deserve it. 

A racket of clatter disturbed his brooding. He looked up to find the object of his grumpiness. Hyde took a deep breath. He was determined to not be a dillhole to Jackie. He watched apprehension settle on her face, and she paused at the bottom step. It set him on edge, and his determination to be friendly flew right out the window. He snapped at her immediately. 

“Jackie, you said we are friends. Stop acting like I have the plague. Either tell me you hate me, or sit the hell down.”

Hyde could identify her temper rise instantly, and it fed all of his uncertainty. 

“I can be as mad at you as I want, for as long as I want. You aren’t in charge of how I feel Hyde!”

He jumped out of his chair, her snobbish tone mixed with the name he didn’t want her to use, had him raring to go.

“Whatever Princess, if you are going to sit around and glare at me, I’m leaving.”

Hyde started to stomp to his room, desperate to get away from her. He was desperate to be away from what appeared to be an impenetrable wall around her built out of his fuck up. He had barely hit the doorway of his room when her voice stopped him.

“I don’t hate you, Hyde.”

He wanted to believe her, but her use of his last name was like acid on his skin. The zen part of him was telling him to go to his room, light up, and forget this demon brunette who haunted him. The part of him that had started to enjoy getting to know her, and was still deeply ashamed of how he had treated her, had to ask what was screaming in his head.

“Why do you keep calling me Hyde?”

He didn’t turn around. He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he had no desire to see it reflected on her face or echoed in her eyes. 

“Isn’t that your name?” She replied with a hint of snark.

Hyde sighed wearily, and simply said “Jackie….”

She returned his sigh, but this time she gave a genuine answer.

“Hyde is who told me he didn’t find babies like me cute. Hyde is who yelled at me and told me everyone hated me. Hyde is who screamed at me for betraying his trust. Steven is who made sure I was okay when I slammed into the door on the way to the Ski Cabin. Steven is who took me to prom. Steven is the guy I sat on the floor with in my bedroom. Steven was the guy who was becoming my friend. I really like Steven but it’s easier focus on Hyde. I expect Hyde not to care. If I focus on Steven, I am going to get my feelings hurt.”

His stomach clenched at her words. It was such a definite divide of asshole vs. good guy. He wanted very much to only be Steven with her. He wanted to bare his soul to this girl. Tell her every feeling he had. For her. About his life. The shit that kept him up at night. The dreams he sometimes dared to believe. The point was he was no more simply Steven as he was only Hyde. Just like she was a mix of the Jackie you got when she was with Kelso, and the one he had started to know. The one who cleaned his cut, always shared her fries with him, and had risked their friendship to keep him safe. He didn’t turn around, but he did reply to her.

“I’m never going to be one or the other Jackie. I’m not perfect. Either you want to be friends with all of me or we can just be cool. I respect that. I deserve that, but if it matters to you at all, I really hate it when you call me Hyde.”

He didn’t move. Hyde wanted her to respond. He wanted something from her. Even if it was a giant _ “Fuck off.”  _

He got his wish when a firm but soft whisper reached his ears “okay.”

Hyde near lost his shit again. He took a deep breath, and realized this girl had a natural untapped zen. Hyde was confident if she ever really understood she had it, no one would ever witness the true Jackie again. She wasn’t trying to be a jerk, she was only trying to protect herself. Still, even knowing all that, it was hard to keep his voice from being sharp. 

“Okay, what Jackie?”

He still hadn’t turned but, he heard her walk up behind him. Hyde tensed. She hadn’t been anywhere near him since the night he tried to make what he did right. He closed his eyes, praying she would touch him, even in a small way. Something to turn the tide, and help them start again.

“Okay, I’m still mad at you for being a jerk. Okay, I’m still hurt someone I trusted scared me. Okay, I’m still trying to work it all out in my head. Okay…. I’m not trying to hurt you when I call you Hyde. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

Before he could reply, steps started to echo down the stairs. He felt her move away, and the sound of her plopping on the couch was evident in the room.

Donna’s voice filled in the void of silence left by her hanging words.

“Hey Jackie!”

Hyde took a minute before turning to join Jackie and Donna. It took Donna only a second to realize that Jackie was not alone in the basement. Her eyes darted between him and Jackie, curiosity and concern jumping across her face. Before Donna could ask what was going on, the whole gang invaded the basement. He shuddered a deep breath, headed to his chair, and silently shook his head at Donna. His signal to not ask. Hyde could see by the look on Donna’s face, she would make an attempt to ask him later what was going on. For now, he was protected by the idiocy of his friends talking over each other, and Fez whining about not having a girl.

As the night wore on, Hyde had a hard time not studying Jackie out of the corner of his eye. She was strangely quiet, to the point, everyone had commented on it. It was causing Eric to give him the side eye which pissed him off. He was sick of every time Jackie was in a mood, Eric assuming he was the cause. Kelso was her boyfriend, anything could be pissing her off, and besides Jackie was moody on her best day. He hated he was now the immediate villain. Eric always seemed to be watching her. It confused him, if he didn’t know better he would think Eric liked Jackie, but he knew that wasn’t the case. She had been still and quiet for so long when she popped up out of nowhere, it was awkwardly abrupt to the peace in the basement. 

“I’m going to grab a pop.” Jackie blurted out. 

Eric merely raised his eyebrow at her and snarked “Thanks for the update.”

Hyde watched Jackie decide not to rise to the challenge, instead she turned and started to go upstairs. As she started to passed him, her fingers grazed his skin, leaving a trail of confusion in their wake. It was the first time in weeks, she had touched him. Hyde sensed his body tighten, and relax at her gentle touch. There was zero reason for her to stretch her soft fingertips across his arm. Before he could spend too much time pondering her touch, she said

“Steven, do you want me to grab you anything?”

His whole body jolted at the sound of his name. She said it so casual, as if saying it was nothing. As if, using his first name hadn’t been a bone of contention merely a few hours ago. He quickly tried to study her face from under the shield of his glasses. Her face was smooth, showing not a trace of anything but inquiry, not a hint of their earlier conversation. Their eyes both trying to read each other, waiting for one of them to give in and show the other their cards. He nearly laughed, when she arched that snobby eyebrow of hers and smoothed out,

“Are you going to answer?”

“Sure, Doll. Thank You. I’ll take a……

Before he could finish she interrupted with a wistful smile, and said only to him

“You’ll take a Coke. You don’t need to tell me. I know what you want Steven.”

She stepped away to gather the drinks that were nothing more than her way of telling him she heard him earlier. It was her way of telling him, they were going to be okay. It was her intimate act towards forgiveness, and he basked in the sound of his name on her lips again. 

As soon as she was out of sight, he closed his eyes tight, and played her last words in his head. 

_ I know what you want Steven. _

Jackie Burkhart had never been more wrong in her life. If she knew what he wanted then she would know what he couldn’t hide from himself anymore…….  _ He wanted her. _

_ He fucking wanted her. He had never wanted anything in his life, the way he wanted Jackie. _

  
  



	8. Gambling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie finds out Kelso is cheating on her, but there is the pain that is worse. The pain of others allowing it to happen. Hyde has to face the consequences of his choices.
> 
> PLEASE READ NOTE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am getting my second COVID shot tonight. I am expecting to experiences the common side effects, so I may drop off the earth.
> 
> I am also not following a traditional timeline in this story, so things will be out of order. This is also the shortest piece I have ever written, but this introduces a section that is going to be much longer.
> 
> Seriously not a fan of this piece, but it is my transitional chapter.

Jackie couldn’t breathe. Every ounce of oxygen had been sucked out of her lungs. She felt the world move underneath her, and for a minute her eyes got blurry. What was working perfectly, was her hearing, because Laurie Forman’s words were screaming in her ears.

_ “Hey Kelso, I found one of your shirts in my room.” _

Over and Over and Over again those eleven words were shrieking in her ears, head, and heart. There she stood in the Formans’ living room, watching Eric’s slutty sister throw her boyfriend’s tee shirt at him like it was nothing. She was positive she was having an out of body experience. Her body was numb and stuck in place, but she could see everything around her with startling focus. Kelso’s excuses floated over her head. She turned away from him to the other player in the room. Her eyes moving to his, and she nearly threw up. Despite Steven’s desire to hide his expressive thoughts, his eyes had talked to her many times. She had read the story of him being pissed, worried, hurt, happy, and she had observed remorse dance out of his gaze. This time his eyes were pouring out something she had never seen before, fear with a strands of guilt twisting through.

She still hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge her stupid cheating boyfriend. What was the point? He would only stammer excuses and shift blame. Instead, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Steven. Unlike Michael, he wasn’t a complete moron, he had to know what was coming. That was why he looked like he was waiting for the axe to fall. Jackie decided she couldn’t take it anymore, she had to know.

“How long?” She asked harshly.

Kelso tried to jump in “It’s not my shirt.”

Jackie didn’t even turn her head, instead she lifted her hand to stop Michael from talking. Her gaze never faltering from the man who she believed would at least always tell her the truth. Who she had put her faith in, believing he wouldn’t let her get screwed over behind her back. After everything, they had been through together these last few months, she had never considered he would hide this from her. She had believed in him and his lack of loyalty was crushing. Jackie in her surge of pain couldn’t ask herself why Hyde’s betrayal hurt more than Michael’s.

* * *

If the situation wasn’t a fucking nightmare, Hyde would have laughed at how Jackie raised her hand to get Kelso to stop speaking like she was a queen demanding silence from one of her subjects. Her stare repeated what he didn’t want to answer. Her gaze was begging him to tell her he didn’t know. They were pleading with him to tell her that he hadn’t let her live in the dark. 

“How long?” she repeated. Hyde heard the hurt creeping up her throat. 

“Since VanStock.”

  
  
  


Her face went white, with shock at the length of the betrayal. Hyde watched Kelso start to dig his grave deeper.

“Nothing, happened Jackie! I swear.”

Hyde had known Kelso for years, but even he was surprised at how far Kelso was willing to go to cover his ass when he was one hundred percent busted. He waited for her to break, and start kicking some ass. He was waiting for the burst in the wall of serenity, and for Jackie to go Jackie all over Kelso for cheating, and on him for not telling. Instead, she continued to simply stare at him with a gaze filled with terrible disappointment. Kelso reached out to touch Jackie on the arm. He knew it was the dumbest thing Kelso could do. The life long friend in him was screaming  _ “Danger! Abort! Abort!”  _ The part of him that wanted Kelso caught, punished and hung out to dry muzzled that voice quickly. As soon his fingers touched her, the release the room needed was given in a whiplash crack. Hyde watched in both horror and glee as Jackie’s hand came across Kelso’s face like the wrath of God.

“Don’t ever touch me again.” Her words were harsh sleet on the bleakest day. 

With her words and smack still vibrating in the air, she stormed out. Leaving Hyde and Kelso alone, both afraid and guilty for the same reason. They both feared they had lost her. Kelso wallowing in his childlike form of shame. He was sorry he had been caught, sorry it had cost him Jackie, but his mind didn’t consider her pain was on his hands. Hyde was ashamed he had allowed her to be hurt, and worried his crime would be judged harshly. It’s one thing to commit a crime, but to stand by and let it happen…… that was cowardice. Hyde never considered himself a coward, but when it came to the tiny brunette who disrupted their lives....he was weak. How in the world did he explain knowing Kelso was screwing Laurie? How did he tell Jackie he would rather see her cheated on than her break up with Kelso and be out of his orbit? He couldn’t give her a justification without telling her the real reason. Instead, he had let his hopes ride on the bet he could get Kelso caught. It was the worst bet of his life. He knew he only had one way out of this, and that was the truth. Telling her the truth was a risk. Jackie was a risk, and he wasn’t ready for that gamble. Because it was a gamble where the stakes included something he never wagered with….his heart. 

A huge rumble of thunder shook Hyde from his thoughts. He glanced outside and noticed the sky getting dark. Tears of rain started to hit the windows, and they seemed to energize him to take action. He moved towards the door, leaving a dumbfounded Kelso behind. He had to find her. He had to make it right. Hyde knew Jackie’s heart was a storm right now. He had helped create the hurricane. It was his job to help tame it, before total destruction was waged.


	9. Let's Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric knows he has to step in to bring Jackie back, and save his brother from the brink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have always been intrigued by Eric and Jackie's relationship. I see them having a brother and sister vibe for each other, and I like the idea of them having a closer relationship. I know Zeppelin and Unicorns loves the Eric and Jackie Vibe.... so Zep, this one's for you.❤️
> 
> Still in bed recovering from my shot, holy cow my arm is on fire! Love me anyway even if my editing is crap. I am on copious amounts of pain killers, it's making editing hard😂

Eric didn’t know when he started giving a damn about Jackie Burkhart, or when she started becoming essential to the basement, but he was confident it had something to do with Hyde. Frankly, she drove him up the damn wall. Jackie was bossy, blunt to the point of rudeness, she never stopped being loud, and she rode his ass. Jackie could burn like nobody’s business. The thing was she wasn’t even trying to burn you. She was simply telling you what she thought. Apparently, no one had ever covered not saying everything you think with her. 

On the flipside, she was the only one who would build his models or lego sets with him. It was weird. She would come in, sit down, and start building with him. Not a word. It was one of the few times she was quiet. No comments. No snark. No giving him shit. Just quiet building. The first time she did it, he had spent the whole time waiting for her to pounce. She never said a word, just quietly hummed and used those tiny fingers to work the areas that were hard for him to put together because the pieces were so small. 

It was after that he had started to watch her, actually try to pay attention to how she worked. He knew that Donna talked to her a lot about him. Eric also knew that a lot of the time Jackie was mean when talking about him. Yet, Donna had reported under the snark there was always heartfelt advice. Jackie had even saved him a few times from screwing the pooch when he and Donna were fighting, but the thing that had him really reconsidering her was Hyde. 

It was bizarre, he had never seen his oldest friend act the way he did when he was around Jackie. You had to know Hyde to see it. It was subtle, almost impossible to see, but he knew Hyde and his reaction to Jackie was unprecedented. Sometime after their bizarre pairing at prom, Hyde’s whole demeanor softened with her. He smiled at Jackie. Eric had caught him calling her “Doll” multiple times. It was always said with gentle affection. He offered her things, he didn’t for anyone else. Eric knew if he asked Hyde to get him a pop, Hyde would tell him to “Get Bent.” The thing that intrigued Eric the most was Hyde never stopped watching her. His eyes followed her everywhere. 

Jackie was different with Hyde as well, with him her snarkiness seemed to fade. Hyde appeared to bring out a gentle side of Jackie, that Eric wouldn’t have thought she had. Then the fight about him moving in had happened. Eric had heard more than rage that night, he had heard hurt. Hyde had given a hidden part of himself to Jackie, and he thought he had been betrayed. He was confident that was what had sent Hyde over the edge. His determination to understand Jackie had grown even more when he had watched in horrible fascination how Hyde had crawled into himself when Jackie stopped coming to the basement.

Hyde’s leg had never stopped thumping. Hyde had retreated to his room to be alone, and had been spending a large amount of time high. He could see friend was terribly unhappy with Jackie missing. It’s why he and Donna had interfered. Eric had been glad to see them make up and start to head back to whatever strange orbit they existed in. Then another bomb had gone off….. Kelso.

Eric knew why they didn’t tell Jackie. You didn’t rat on your friend. It was cold. It was mean. He knew it was flat out heartless to Jackie, but they had been friends with Kelso since elementary school. You don’t nark. He knew that Jackie would say she was their friend, and she was mostly, but Kelso was part of who they were. Hyde had done everything short of telling on Kelso to get him caught, and Eric had fully supported it. He wished more than anything it had worked, because when Kelso finally got caught it hadn’t been ugly, it had been monstrous. 

_Eric and Donna were hanging out in the basement watching TV, both wondering where everyone was when a wall of noise thundered down the stairs. They had turned to find Jackie. Her eyes were wild with anger and hurt. Her face was huge with disappointment. Before either of them could ask, she unleashed on them._

_“Your slutty sister was sleeping with my boyfriend and neither of you told me. You let me think my boyfriend was a good guy. No one told me. NO ONE.”_

_Eric knew instinctively the last No one was for Hyde. Her pain at Hyde’s betrayal was etched on her face like the ten commandments on stone tablets. She was trembling with fury. Her eyes locked on Donna. Eric didn’t know if it was all for Donna or if Donna was getting some of what Jackie felt about Kelso and Hyde….but Jackie’s words were without mercy._

_“How could you Donna? I’ve been sleeping with him without a condom since I got on birth control. I could have gotten something from him. You let me walk into danger. You picked Kelso over me…..don’t ever talk to me again about your feniminst crap again. He could have made me sick, and you did nothing.”_

_Her words felt like bricks, hard, painful, and undeniable._

_Then as quick as she came into the room, she was gone out into the storm._

_\--------_

Eric swallowed heavily at the memory. To be honest he had never thought about Kelso giving Jackie a disease. Not that it should have mattered, they all should have said something. Kelso was an ass, none of them thought it was cool he was screwing around, they just didn’t want to hurt Kelso. It made him sad, that they were all fine with hurting Jackie. He was standing here outside of her house trying to get the nerve to knock, so he could make it right. Not just for himself, not really even for Donna who was surprisingly upset that Jackie wouldn’t talk to her, but for Hyde. Hyde was unglued. Eric wasn’t sure Hyde had slept since Jackie blew out of the basement two days ago. He had to make this better for him. 

* * *

Jackie was up in her room still trying to understand why she thought she could trust people, and whatever made her believe that those basement losers gave a damn about her. She had flat out refused to answer her phone for the last two days. She knew it was either Kelso or Donna. Kelso could go to hell. She partially blamed herself for Kelso cheating on her. She didn’t blame herself for the cheating, that she was dumb enough to believe in a guy who lived in a state of “let’s do it.” She had watched her parents screw around on each other since she was little. She knew better than anyone that _“Once a cheater, always a cheater”_ was gospel truth. More than anything she was ashamed at herself for falling for Michael's bullshit. They were done. He had humiliated her. She refused to be her parents. She would not be the Golden Couple for the world to see and know that underneath all there was betrayal, and indifference. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be important to someone. She wanted someone to put her first. There it was in a nutshell, she had wanted to believe that Steven had at least considered her important enough to defend. He could call her doll. He could say he wanted to be friends, but when push came to shove, he would rather stay by Kelso’s side. That’s what she couldn’t face. That’s what was drowning her in torment. She had believed he cared, and her heart was broken he didn’t. Donna was a disappointment to her, but not surprising. Jackie had dealt with her cheer friends long enough to know the stab in the back was always coming. It didn’t make the stab less painful, but at least she could say she had expected to get screwed over. Jackie was confident that some of the calls were Donna, but she no use for lame justification.

She knew Hyde wouldn’t call, even though she wanted to believe he was who was calling her, she knew better. He didn’t call when he was happy. He wouldn’t call now. Her mind was so clouded with with her discontent, she didn’t hear the knock on her door at first. It wasn’t until it was a pounding, and she could hear the faint sound of 

“Come on Jackie! Open up!” floating up the stairs.

Jackie was surprised to hear that voice. Because of all people she expected to come pounding at her door, Eric Forma wasn’t one of them. She didn’t know what he could possibly want to say to her. They were far from bosom buddies, but she was intrigued enough to go see. Besides, she could take him out in a second if she wanted to, and she still had rage that needed to go somewhere. Eric could be the perfect target.

She hurried down the stairs, fueled by her hurt and her desire to kick someone’s ass. She threw open the door, and yelled

“What could you possibly want?”

Jackie could see she had surprised him. Hesitation was written all over his body. Her ability to display mercy was currently not working, so before he could answer she snarled out.

“Are you going to speak? Or just waste my time by being stupid on my doorstep.”

* * *

Eric was unsure what to do. He was facing an angry woman, one who could demolish him, but he had to do this for Hyde. He had to run into the fire, and try to put out the hottest parts of the blaze.

“Jackie, can I talk to you?”

“What could you possible want to talk with me about? You sure as hell didn’t want to tell me Kelso was banging your sister.”

Eric had known this wouldn’t be easy. Jackie was tiny but she was tough, and he expected her to be mad, but this was a woman on a mission to destroy. He wanted to say _fuck it,_ and they could all try to forget her in the basement. That would be both the easy route, but one that would lead to pain. Somehow she had become part of them, and he wanted to make sure she knew that. He needed to make sure she understood how much she meant to Hyde, even if Hyde wasn’t smart to enough to know it himself. 

“I want to talk to you about Hyde. Come one Devil. Let me in.”

He could see her desires waging a war in her face. Eric knew she wanted to slam the door in his face. It was shaking out of her, but her eyes had changed when he brought up Hyde. That was his ticket in. He had to press the point. 

“It’s important Jackie. You need to hear this.”

He saw the minute he won round one. All of the towering rage left her body in a woosh. She simply stepped back, and let him in. She didn’t say a word, turned, and walked towards what looked like a sunroom. He followed her, until they were in a room with sofas surrounded by glass. She sat like a queen allowing a peasant an audience. Eric decide to sit across from her. Before he could speak she broke the silence,

“Is he okay?”

Eric knew now he had been dead on. She had only let him in because of Hyde. She was worried. She was trying to hide it, but it shimmered out of her. He decided to tell her the truth, unvarnished, and let the pieces fall where they may. 

“No. He isn’t.” he said quietly.

“Why?” 

“Jackie, he drove around for hours looking for you after you left. You ran out into a rainstorm while upset. He was frantic when he couldn’t find you. He came back unglued. Ranting you could get hurt, what if someone grabbed you, that we were all assholes, and if anything happened to you it would all be our fault. He came here and pounded on the door, and you didn’t answer. When you didn’t answer the door, or your phone he went to my dad. Hyde wanted to call the cops. When Red called your mainline and found out from the maid, that you were safe, Hyde deflated. You weren’t missing anymore, you just didn't want anything to do with us.”

Eric was hoping to see softness on her face, but he was disappointed. Her words followed her face, cold and hard.

“So? I’m supposed to feel bad I didn’t answer the phone or door after all my so called friends screwed me over? I’m supposed to be worried about Hyde looking for me when he and all of you let me get screwed over? He’s right...you are assholes. I’ve heard enough, get out.”

She started to rise, but Eric grabbed her wrist quickly. 

“Jackie, please. There is more. I am begging you to listen. Please.”

She wanted to kick his ass, it was easy to identify, but there was something else. Eric was certain it was the thing that made her build Lego models, give good advice, and rat Hyde out. It was the real Jackie. 

She sighed heavily, yanked her wrist from him, and plopped back in the chair. 

“You have five minutes. Then I’m going to kick you so hard demons in hell are going to feel it.”

Eric swallowed heavily. He had no doubt she would do it, so he pressed forward in an effort to use his time wisely.

“Jackie, he is a wreck. He isn’t eating. He isn’t sleeping. For the last two days he has done nothing but get high or stay in his room. I don’t know what to say to you, but Hyde did everything he could get to Kelso caught. We had fought a few times about telling you. I talked him out of it everytime. I know you don’t understand. I know not telling you was totally shitty, but telling on Kelso would be a totally betrayal of our pact. We promised years ago to never nark on each other. We are all Hyde has. We are his family. It put him in an impossible position. Break his promise to a guy who while drives him nuts, is one of the few people he has. Hyde can’t deal with you hating him. You matter to him. You matter to us. I’m here to tell you we were wrong. A promise in second grade shouldn’t have prevented us from doing the right thing. I’m sorry Jackie. He’s sorry. He’s sick with his sorry. You need to talk to him. He needs you to talk to him.”

She had long stopped looking at him. He could identify tears streaking down her face. He waited for her to say something, but for once silence seemed to be Jackie’s weapon of choice. She was wielding it like a master. Eric had no idea what she was thinking other than she was hurt. That was obvious in every tear that streaked down her face. He knew he was telling her things that Hyde would kill him for, but he was already over the line, so he might as well go for broke. He was pulled out his Ace,

“I think he didn’t tell you because he’s scared to lose you. If you break up with Kelso then you might leave the basement and then he can’t see you. He’s never said that to me, but Jackie, I’ve known Hyde since Kindergarten, and I’ve never seen him the way he is with you. You are important to him, and he has no idea what to do with that. I think he is in love with you.”

At those last words her eyes snapped back to his, and her feelings were a painted mosaic. 

“No he doesn't. I’m just the stupid girl who was dating one of his oldest friends.”

“Jackie, that’s just not true. If you were just a stupid girl who meant nothing, he wouldn’t be in his room drowning in shame. I’m here to apologize for my actions, and to ask you to talk to Donna, but I’m really here because I love Hyde like a brother, and he is suffering. He will beat himself into the ground over this, until he believes all of this is his fault. Until he believes because he is trash he ruins anything good in his life. I am begging you to talk to him. I am begging you to give us all one last chance. I’m here to bring you back with me. He needs you Jackie, and I think you need him too.”

Her eyes had fallen away from his again. Her hands were snarled together, and it looked she was trying strangle out what to do with her grip. He really couldn’t even seen her face anymore. Her long hair had fallen in front to create a curtain. There was no way for him to get a read. 

Eric stood up, walked to her, and held out his hand,

“Come one Devil, it’s time to come home.”

Her eyes whipped to his, and there was a tiny flare of hope in them, more importantly he could see dots of forgiveness. Eric saw something else. Something he couldn’t believe he had missed all this time. Something he of all people should have recognized. Something he had seen in Hyde’s eyes his whole life, Eric saw a girl who was lonely, and looking for someone to give a damn. He saw a girl looking for somewhere to belong. 

She grabbed his hand, and he helped her to her feet, and she let out a butterfly whisper

“Home?”

He looked her dead in the eye and said with as much feeling as he could

“Yes, home, and you belong there.”

He gave her a smile small, and she merely gripped his hand a little tighter. 

As the walked out of the room, her voice broke the silence again,

“Let’s go talk to Steven.”

  
  



	10. A Place To Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric brings Jackie back home to face the person who she craves more than she should.

Jackie said nothing the whole time Eric drove her back towards a place that shouldn’t matter, but had become her whole world. When she first met Kelso, and he had drug her to the dingy basement, she had been appalled. It smelled, all the furniture was barely hanging on, and the people in it were NOT her people. They weren’t rich. They weren’t popular, and not one of them had any fashion sense. They were everything she never knew she wanted. That stupid basement had changed her life. Sometimes it scared her to death, how much she wasn’t the Jackie who she was when she first waltzed in as Michael’s girlfriend. She couldn’t pinpoint when, but she had stopped hanging out with her cheer friends, and they seemed less ideal now. Jackie had always known they were fake; the type of friends always searching for weakness so they could take you down in the brutal climb to popularity. Jackie understood that. She had been trained for that type of friend, since her mother deemed her pretty, and her daddy had started talking about knowing the right people. Her previous friends were so different from Michaels it nearly gave her whiplash. The burnouts who hung out in Eric Forman’s basement cared about each other. They had a history that any of them could pull out in second to laugh about. They were genuine with each other. Their loyalty absolute. Jackie knew that better than anyone. When push came to shove, they had picked Kelso, because he was there friend. She was just the girl he had just brought along for the ride.

Even Kelso, who was faithless, was faithful to his friends, and he never wavered in his devotion. She had watched from the sidelines as they adopted Fez into their clan. Jackie knew Steven had basically given Fez protection, by declaring him his friend, but she could identify they all actually loved Fez. He mattered to them. Jackie would never admit it out loud, but she so badly wanted to be part of their circle. Not necessarily to get high, but it was sacred to be included, it meant you belonged, and she wanted to so badly to be part of who they were. She wanted to matter. So, here she sat in Eric Forman’s car, with a blooming hope she was scared to believe. Jackie was starting to think just maybe she was important to them. 

Her heart was beating rapidly as Eric turned into the drive. All of her fire had fallen away, and now she was wracked with nervousness _. What if this was a mistake? What if this was a giant burn? What if Eric was playing on her weakness for Steven, and she was going to walk in to find stupid Michael waiting for her? If that was the case, the geek better run like hell, because she would end him. _

“Jackie, are you ready?” Eric asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Eric?” she replied. 

“Yeah?”

“Is there anyone else in the basement? I’m not ready to see everyone. I can’t handle Michael right now.”

She watched a slight smile quirk up on Eric’s face, almost like he was making fun of her. If that was the case, she would kill him now.

“What’s so funny?” she snipped.

He turned to her, his face gentle with only a hint of amusement. “I guessed you weren’t ready to have everyone around. I told them Red wanted them out for the day. Jackie, he doesn’t know you’re coming. He’s going to kick my ass for interfering, for assuming that he wanted to talk to you. So, I can’t guarantee how he is going to react. I only know  _ he needs _ to talk to you.”

She squeezed his hand. A hand she hadn't let go of since he offered it to her. It felt like her lifeline to a world she wasn’t sure was hers yet. She scooted out after him on the bench seat, he led her in through the kitchen, and down to the basement. As soon as he hit the landing, he let go of her hand, and quietly said

“This is as far as I go. This has to be you and him, or it won’t go well.”

Jackie’s heart started to pound as she watched Eric jog his way back upstairs. She had no idea what the hell she was doing. Steven wasn’t her boyfriend. She owed him nothing. He owed her the same, but he was the only she wanted to talk this out with. Steven was the one hurting her heart, and if what Eric said was true, Steven’s carefully wrapped up heart was bruised as well. The mere idea he was in pain softened her anger at him. She knew that was stupid, but she hated the idea of him upset. Jackie straighted her shoulders, called on every bit of who she was, and finished the trek down to a man who owned her even if he shouldn’t.

* * *

Hyde laid on his bed trying to decide if he had enough money to buy more stash. He couldn’t stand to be sober. Maybe he could trade hours at the Fotohut for stash with Leo. He needed something. Something to keep him going. He had barely slept since Jackie dashed out into the storm. He had searched for her for hours, manic in his fear something had happened to her. It had near killed him to find out she was safe, she simply wanted nothing to do with him…any of them. Hyde didn’t blame her. How could he? Her boyfriend was cheating on her and they did nothing.  _ He did nothing. _ He who had screamed at her about trust and loyalty didn’t extend it to her. He was what he hated most…. _ a hypocrite. _

The minute Jackie had found Kelso’s shirt, and she had looked at him, Hyde had known he was screwed. Her shock that he had willingly let her get cheated on had vibrated off of her loudly. For the millionth time, Hyde squeezed his eyes tight, desperate to shut out her face. A petite knock interrupted his self imposed torture. It was probably Mrs. Forman trying to coax him to eat. He wanted to tell her to go the hell away, but she was the one person he would never snap at. For Mrs. Forman, his temper was always contained, never even close to being out of control, and he always gave her all the love she deserved. The knock came again, all he could do was suffer through whatever she threw at him.

He sat up and hollowly called out “Come in.”

Hyde was so confident in his assessment the knock belonged to Mrs. Forman, he didn’t notice her right away. It took her, saying his name, for him to truly focus on the world around him. 

“Steven? Can we talk?”

Hyde’s eyes snapped to his doorway to find Jackie. A version of Jackie he had never seen before. Her hair was scooped up in a pony tail, not one of her sharp cheer ponytails where she never had a curl out of place, but a messy one. She didn’t have a drop of makeup on. It took his breath away. An unadorned Jackie was magnificent. He wanted this Jackie desperately, the one she hid from the world. She looked so young and vulnerable, all he could think was he let her get hurt out of some misplaced loyalty to a guy who would fuck anything that moved. He couldn’t believe she was standing in his dingy room looking like a fresh summer morning asking him to talk. He had to be high. This had to be a bad trip. Because he believed that was more plausible than her being there on her own accord, he muttered out

“Are you real?”

He watched confusion cross her face, but she quickly replied. 

“Of course, I’m real. Are you high? What’s wrong with you?”

He still wasn’t sure what was happening, so he reached out and grabbed her hand. Trying to find some sense of reality. As soon as her smooth skin hit his rough hands, his heart started pounding. For once in his life, he didn’t think about what he was doing, or how it made him look, and pulled her quickly down on his lap. He buried his head into her hair, wrapped her close, and promised himself right there he would make sure he never screwed up again. He would never lose having her in his life, even if he had to observe from a distance. Her mere presence brought him balance, and he couldn’t lose it.

* * *

Jackie wasn’t sure what she expected, but him acting like she was a mirage, and then pulling her silently into his arms was not even in her top five. His hug was tight, but it radiated his regret. She knew by the way he was acting he was sorry for not telling her, but she wanted more than his regret. Jackie wanted to understand. More than anything in the world, Jackie wanted to understand the complication that was Steven Hyde. She knew a ton of talking wouldn’t do anything but send him further down whatever hole he was in, so she let out one simple but loaded word.

“Why?”

Any tension that had melted from his body returned. She felt like she was sitting on steel, but he didn’t lessen his hold. He continued to keep her pressed into him. He finally lifted his head out of her hair and looked at her directly, but not without regret and softness lacing his eyes. 

“Because you don’t nark on your friend.”

Jackie felt the same frustration she experienced when Eric told her that bullshit, and she had a quick snap back.

“So, I’m not your friend? It’s okay to let him get away with doing something wrong?”

He moved her off his lap on the cot next to him. Jackie knew instantly, that meant he didn’t want to make eye contact. Whatever was coming was either going to be uncomfortable for him, or painful for her. She closed her eyes tight, in preparation for it to hurt,

“Jackie, what do you want me to say? It’s wrong. Hell, it's fucked up, but I’ve known Kelso since I was 5. My first instinct is to protect his dumbass. He’s a dick. He’s a cheater. He can be stupid as the day is long, but he’s mine. I protect is what mine. I did everything I could to get him caught. I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s all I could do and not gamble on something that is the core of who I am. Kelso, Eric, and I….it’s been that way for a long time. We’ve been protecting and covering for each other for a long time. Jackie, you blew into the basement and shook up our lives. All of us haven’t been able to find our old places since. Do you know why? Because they don't exist anymore. You changed the order of our group, and that is scary as fuck. We don’t know what to do with you, Jackie. Hell…. I don’t know what to do with you.”

Jackie had no idea _ “what to do with” _ what he had just said. So much of it seemed to have hidden layers she couldn’t identify clearly yet. He still hadn’t answered the question she wanted answered most. She needed to know.

“I get all that. It just hurts to know I’m not your friend. It’s painful to me that you let me walk around each day with an invisible wound, that everyone could see but me. I thought you of all people would stand up for me. I thought I mattered to you. I really thought we were friends.”

Her throat started to clog, and the tears she didn’t want to shed were starting to suffocate her. She stood up quickly. Jackie had no desire for him to watch her fall apart. She started to move to the door, but before she could get a step further, Steven pulled her back down. 

He stared at her with his impossible eyes, and started to write a new chapter. 

“You’re my friend Jackie. You’re part of who we are now, and I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. It’s the only thing I’m good at, and I failed. I picked protecting Kelso, because it’s what I have always done. I never meant to care about you. You were never supposed to be important, but here you are… mattering more than you should. I’m sorry Jackie. I was wrong.”

She could only nod. Her mind was pounding in confusion, trying to sort out the seriousness of his words. It didn’t mend her heart instantly, but like with Eric, she felt like he was offering her something she had been desperate to taste her whole life…a place to belong. Jackie wanted her place in the basement to be something no one thought twice about. What scared her was how badly she wanted the feeling of belonging to be connected with him. More than belonging in the basement, Jackie wanted to belong Steven Hyde.

They sat for a minute, before Steven broke the silence. He brushed her hair out of her face, and said 

“Jackie, I’ll never pick Kelso over you again.”

She didn’t know it, but that simple sentence was the start of them traveling down a road that would change everything. It would change the basement. It would change Kelso and Hyde, but most of all from this moment on, who Jackie and Hyde were together would never be the same.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh...... not my favorite. I am super not impressed with myself :(


	11. There Is Nothing Wrong With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde gets a glimpse into Jackie's life, and finds himself unable to tear himself away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This it totally AU. Some parts of this story will follow canon (sort of), and other chapters will be what I see as part of their love story. I maintain that people who say Hyde being soft is out of character have not watched the show closely or as obsessively as I have ;) 
> 
> Besides, I love when Hyde is soft, and I'm a romantic at heart.

Hyde couldn’t believe he had gone willing to the beach, and even worse he had actually worn shorts. Hell had frozen over because he had willing worn a piece of clothing he routinely flunked gym for refusing to wearing. He had done it for Jackie. She had begged him to swim in the water, which meant shorts. Hyde wanted to kick his own ass for caving, but there had been a lot of caving in the basement lately. They all felt like shit for letting Kelso screw over Jackie without a word, so they had been giving in to her requests. When she had told them, her parents had a small beach house on Lake Michigan, in Kenosha and wanted to do a weekend at the beach, and they all agreed. Honestly, it wasn't hard to sign up for a weekend away from parents. Hyde just hadn’t expected to have to actually get in the water, but when it came to Jackie, he was weak. She drove him places, he normally refused to go. Despite,his natural grumpiness at being pushed to do what he didn’t want to do, he could admit it had been a pretty good day. 

His mind was wandering to Jackie laughing in the waves with Donna, to her sunning her golden skin, and him holding her wet body next to his when he grabbed her while in the lake. Hyde had been just about to drift from reviewing the day to deep soundless sleep when he heard the pattering of feet to his left. Hyde didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Jackie moving around. He always knew when she was near him. Her smell, the wave she moved, the sound of her steps, Hyde could pick out Jackie a mile away. She was rummaging around, and then she opened the door and stepped out. His eyes flew open, and he was up in a minute. Where the hell did she think she was going?

* * *

  
  


Hyde gave her one minute, and then he followed her out the door. He didn’t care that the Burkhart’s had a private beach, like hell was he going to let Jackie wander around late at night by herself. Besides, where the hell was she going at midnight? He came out of the cottage, and could still hear fading steps in the distance. Hyde followed until he came to the end of the boardwalk. He stayed in the shadows, and let his eyes follow her. She was spreading out a huge beach blanket. Hyde watched Jackie drop a towel on the blanket, and then pull off her dress. Hyde for once was a gentleman. His eyes closed instantly. He was positive Jackie would be mortified if she knew he saw her naked. Hyde waited for the splash, and then let his eyes observe her. He swore softly to himself  _ “Fuck.” _ She was exactly what Fez alway called her... a Goddess. He watched her sleek form dive under the water. When she came back up, and threw her long black hair back like some sort of gypsy mermaid, he became hard instantly. Hyde would never understand why Kelso had cheated. Jackie was more than hot, she was simply otherworldly. Why he wanted Laurie, who was a total skank when he had a girl who knocked the breath out of people, was proof to Hyde that Kelso was stupid.

Hyde knew this was private, which is why she came out here at midnight, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. First, because damn he was a guy, and holy hell watching her swim in the moonlight would forever be his favorite fantasy, and Second, what if she got trouble? He had no desire to wake up to find Jackie dead on the beach, the mere idea struck him cold. 

She swam for a good 20 minutes before Hyde could see she was headed to shore. He closed his eyes again, trying so hard not to be that guy. After a minute passed he opened them, to make sure she wasn’t headed his way. Instead, she was stretched out on her blanket, letting the moon bathe her in its eerie glow. His mind was stuck in mythology tonight because she looked like a water nymph taking human form on land. The type that tempted you to follow them out to sea. At that moment if Jackie, had turned her eyes and beckoned to him, he would have followed her without thought or worry of consequences. Even without a siren song Hyde felt his feet moving on their own accord. Here was another version of Jackie. Just when he thought he had her figured out, she revealed another layer to who she was. Hyde was positive he could make studying Jackie his life work. He didn't want to startle her, so he called her name a few steps away.

“Jackie, what are you doing out here?”

She startled up like a shot out of a gun.

“Steven! I.. just…. What are you doing out here?” She said the last part snobbily and with such pretension in her voice he couldn’t help but smile. Hyde had begun to learn her prissy attitude was her ultimate shield. He smiled a little at her righteous indignation.

“Settle down Doll. I just couldn’t sleep, and decided to take a walk.” 

It was utter bullshit, but he knew with undeniable certainty she would die if she knew he had watched her swim. Her face calmed almost immediately, and the defensive stance of her body relaxed. 

“Do you want to sit with me for a bit?” 

Hyde wanted to yell  _ “Hell Yes.” _ He knew Jackie didn’t realize it, but her dress was clingy to her wet body, and he could see more of her than he was sure than she intended. He was a man and he was only human. More than sitting next to a girl who was extremely hot, he simply wanted to spend time with Jackie. It had been a crazy last couple of weeks, and he while he would never admitted it. He just wanted to soak her up. 

“Sure” He smirked out. He finished the journey to the beach blanket and plopped down. Hyde didn’t say another word. He let the soft breeze off the lake soothe all his thoughts. He noticed Jackie hadn’t answered his question. Looking up at the stars he pushed a little,

“Doll, you never answered me. What are you doing out here?”

Hyde heard her sigh heavily, and let out another piece of her puzzle. 

“When I was little, I was scared of the water. When my parents first brought me here to swim when I was 8, I was terrified and refused to get in. I cried. We had guests with us, and my mother was horrified. She and Daddy were so mad at me. My mom told what was the point of having me if I was going to be embarrassing. Daddy told me if I couldn’t be normal, he would never bring me with again. They would leave me at home with Varina. So, I came out every night and forced myself into the water when no one was watching. I did it whole summer. That way when I got scared, no one would see me cry. Eventually, it became tradition and the water became a place that soothed me instead of terrified me. Out here I can be scared. In the water, the waves don’t expect me to be perfect. On the beach, the stars don’t care if I’m pretty or popular because nothing out shines them.”

Whatever Hyde thought she was going to say, it wasn’t that. Anger swept through his body. Her parents were complete and total assholes. They didn’t deserve her. He hated that Jackie was made to feel like she was less. That shit was supposed to happen to him. He was born a loser, and would likely die one, but Jackie was supposed to be loved. He admired her guts, but it also terrified him. She had been eight in the water at night, his mind was more than capable of conjuring up all the terrible things that could have happened to her. 

“Jackie?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Your parents are total assholes.”

Hyde had yet to look at her, but her squeak at his statement told him it was okay to look at her. Her face was alight with suppressed giggles. It made him push her a little further.

“Come on, admit it…. They are total assholes.”

Her face lightened more, and it made his heart soar. Hyde loved when he could be the guy who made life easier for Jackie. He didn’t understand it, but he had a need to save her. Hyde wanted to be the person who was the wall protecting her from this fucked up world. He had always been a person who protected the weak and those smaller than him, but Jackie sent that instinct into overdrive. 

“They are complete assholes.” she laughed. 

Hyde watched her laughter erupt out of her. All the giggles exploding the silence of the night. As quickly as her giggles escaped, they quickly fell away. She gazed at him dead serious, and asked a question that broke his heart. 

“What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they love me?” 

Her eyes imploring him to give her some deep piece of wisdom. Hyde clenched at the fragility in her voice. He grabbed her hand, made his voice harder than he meant, but he wanted her to understand.

“Jackie, there is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with them. Some parents just suck. Some people should have never had kids. Your parents are bad people. I mean it. There is nothing wrong with you.”

He watched her eyes slide away. It was easy to identify she didn’t believe him, and it pissed him off. Hyde let go of her hand and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“I mean it Jackie. There is nothing wrong with you. I’m not fucking around. Repeat it. I want to hear you say it.”

Her eyes were intense on his, but Hyde didn’t give a damn. He would sit out here all night and force her to listen before he would let her believe a second longer there was something wrong with her. She was ignoring his request. He dropped his voice lower, but it came out harsh.

“Say it Jackie. I’m not moving until you say it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” her voice whispered. A single tear fell down her face, and Hyde felt like he had been stabbed. A crying Jackie was and always would be acid on his heart. He let go of her chin, gently rubbed her tear away with his thumb, and grabbed her to him. Hyde felt her nestle into his arms, he didn’t know if she knew it, but she let out a contented sigh. It was a balm on his heart to hear her feel safe in his arms, despite everything he had done to screw that up. Hyde held her quietly for a long time. He was just about to carry her inside, convinced she was asleep when a near inaudible whisper climbed up to his ears.

“Do you think anyone will ever love me?”

“Yes. I’m positive Doll.” 

He knew that without thinking, because he loved her already.


End file.
